My friends and I are a bit crazy at times…blame it on the fact that we’re mostly sleep deprived or just too good at making situations very awkward. Here is a page that pays tribute to some of the most unintelligent conversations we’ve had…enjoy!

 

^_^*

 

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Shannon (my co-worker): So what do you think? A pound of meat for each kid?

Me: Dude, that’s A LOT OF MEAT!

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Shannon: I really wanted to go! There were creampuffs Ashley…CREAMPUFFS!

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Brandon (my brother): Well, I’m the popular kid in school.

Me: Yeah, I don’t know how that happened.

Brandon: It’s because I’m black, that’s why.

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Liz: Yeah, she totally made us coffee cake last year for finals

Squaw: Really?

Joe: Well, she really made it for her husband but then realized that he was allergic to cinnamon. So she just brought it in saying it was for us.

Briana: Wait…is her husband really allergic to cinnamon?

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Helen: Pete, you just hit me in the boob.

Me: Yeah Pete, shame on you!

Pete: She hit me in the boob first!

Me: It’s astonishing that you can keep a straight face when you say that.

Pete: Thanks, I had to practice in the mirror for a while before I could control my laughter. *Imitates talking in the mirror* ‘Boob’ *chuckles, regains poise* ‘boob’ *chuckles, slaps himself* ‘Pull yourself together man! It’s just boobs!’

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Me: So Pete, that’s a very tight sweater you got there. Will you please wear it to school one day?

Pete: One day? I’m going to wear it every day! Even in August. But it’ll be so hot that it’s all I’ll wear…no pants.

Me: Well why didn’t you do it for the party?

Pete: I was going to but Helen told me to put pants on.

Me: How pissed will you be if someone rolls up here in just a sweater…no pants?

*long pause

Pete: Very pissed.

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Helen: What the fuck is this gray rectangle doing? It’s just chillin there like, “I’m a gray rectangle and I’m here to wreck your day!!”

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Me: How do you spell gray?

Helen: IDK dude? G-r-a-y or g-r-e-y? I flip flop all the time. I don’t really know, gray is such a trickster…a son-of-a-bitch trickster.

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Dr. Barlow: Let’s talk about duties. The old testament is filled with duty.

Joe: *chuckles and whispers* doody

Me: *chuckles* doody

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Me: Yay! New facebook.

Joe: Wait, are you saying you love it?

Me: Yeah, everyone hates it…except me.

Joe: I love it too!

Me: Me too.

Joe: And me.

Me: And you…

*awkward silence

Joe: This is why we’re twins.

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Me: So, don’t think that I’m weird or anything and I don’t mean to make things awkward,

but if I was a dude for a day, I’d have someone drive me around so I could pee out the

window. You know, just because I have the option to do so…

Joe: Ummmmmm–I’m just gonna go stand over here.

*moves away from me. 😀

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Joe: Can I have a shot of expresso?

Me: Expresso? It’s espresso–with an ‘s’ and not an ‘x’.

Helen: Yeah, you don’t ‘espress’ your feelings. You express your feelings.

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Joe: Yeah, I get so wasted all the time and run around campus naked and pee on everything.

Helen: And introduce yourself to random people.

Joe: Yeah, and it goes something like this:

*goes to shake my hand

“Hi, I’m Joe and yes, I’m naked…

and yes, I’m peeing on you.

Wanna be friends?”

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